[identity profile] xbeax.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] janto_recs
Title: Personal Jesus
Author: [profile] mukhy0
Genre: Romance/Drama
Rating: NC17
Summary: "Monitor Torchwood Three. Use Jack Harkness. Find the Doctor. Contain the Tardis. It was a very full agenda but his anger provided enough fuel to set him up for the task."
Status: Complete
Length: 8 Chapters, ~36800
Warnings: Spoilers/Subtle Jack/Gwen
Comment or Excerpt from fic:

Ianto paced the length of his flat and was near hysterics. Murderers. Bastards. They killed his Lisa.

His hands were still shaking long after Jack had kicked him out of the Hub with a harsh push that nearly caused him to slip on the wet, blood covered floor. Just the memory was enough to have Ianto gripping the steering wheel with white knuckles as he’d navigated the way home; somehow avoiding pedestrians, lampposts and other cars amidst his intermittent breakdowns. He hadn’t even made it out of his vehicle before crying until his eyes were so swollen that he could barely see. Minutes later in his flat, he had another cry until he was bone dry and could only manage a few parched, empty sobs.

Even hours after Jack and the rest of the team had mercilessly bombarded his girlfriend with gunshots, his face was still damp and red, and his breath never regained its evenness. Just when his tears had begun to dry, Ianto felt his breath grow rapid once more as he remembered the feeling of Lisa’s warm blood on his fingers again. His mind was still reeling from the evening's disaster and he had started stalking his small flat to distract himself from hyperventilating or getting sick on his pristine carpet. The lights were off as he paced the dark room and took quick, shallow breaths. A clock on the wall ticked quietly and the sound of a passing car roared past his silent room. It gave the place an eerie and desolate element, reflecting exactly how he felt.

His punishment of a week on suspension was surprisingly lenient compared to the damage his mistake had caused. Maybe Jack was expecting a resignation in a few days because there was no way anyone at Torchwood Three would ever trust him again. He could never face the team after what had happened.

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