[identity profile] itoshii-chan.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] janto_recs
Title: Screened
Author: [livejournal.com profile] crowson75
Genre: Humor, Crackfic, Smut~ty (mostly for the subject in question, so it can't be helped)
Rating: PG-15
Other/Implied Pairings: N/A
Summary: Captain Jack - Giving Torchwood more than aliens to worry about.
Status: COMPLETE
Length: One-shot
Word Count: 1,125
Warnings: None explicit but I would say to watch the rest of series 2 if you're worried.
Comment or Excerpt from fic: An absolutely brilliant and an utterly crack-tastic fic that had me laughing-my-arse-off from the very beginning! I don't know how the author came-up with it but it's so insanely ingenious! Very enjoyable! ^^

~*~*~*~*~

“I know I’m not an easy man to kill and all,” Jack had said blithely, watching the sweet, but dangerous, Michelle draw blood from his arm. “But considering I’ve actually had sex with a few other Geneptic creatures, don’t you think you’re over-reacting a bit? Admittedly, I never really went for the snails…” He was aware that Michelle had stopped moving. “I was told they were very good at giving….”

“Stop!” Michelle said desperately. “I suddenly feel rather sick. Have you slept with any other aliens…?”

Jack gave her a look that suggested that she should really pull the other one...

Ten minutes hadn’t even passed before he found himself being grilled at great length by his superiors; the despotic Mr fusspot, Sergeant Tayles and the rather stiff Mrs Willowes. As with all such things, Jack was seen as an exception. No one British would sleep with aliens.

And then Sergeant Tayles did.

Then Michelle did.

Mrs Willowes followed shortly after.

Jack, who hadn’t had his leg over in weeks by that point, was beginning to wonder what was wrong with him. Instead, he took out his frustration by making a suggestion…


~*~*~*~*~
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