janto_recs | REC: SCREENED by CROWSON75 (Reply)

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Title: Screened
Author:

crowson75
Genre: Humor, Crackfic, Smut~ty (mostly for the subject in question, so it can't be helped)
Rating: PG-15
Other/Implied Pairings: N/A
Summary: Captain Jack - Giving Torchwood more than aliens to worry about.
Status: COMPLETE
Length: One-shot
Word Count: 1,125
Warnings: None explicit but I would say to watch the rest of series 2 if you're worried.
Comment or Excerpt from fic: An absolutely brilliant and an utterly crack-tastic fic that had me laughing-my-arse-off from the very beginning! I don't know how the author came-up with it but it's so insanely ingenious! Very enjoyable! ^^

~*~*~*~*~

“I know I’m not an easy man to kill and all,” Jack had said blithely, watching the sweet, but dangerous, Michelle draw blood from his arm. “But considering I’ve actually had sex with a few other Geneptic creatures, don’t you think you’re over-reacting a bit? Admittedly, I never really went for the snails…” He was aware that Michelle had stopped moving. “I was told they were very good at giving….”

“Stop!” Michelle said desperately. “I suddenly feel rather sick. Have you slept with any other aliens…?”

Jack gave her a look that suggested that she should really pull the other one...

Ten minutes hadn’t even passed before he found himself being grilled at great length by his superiors; the despotic Mr fusspot, Sergeant Tayles and the rather stiff Mrs Willowes. As with all such things, Jack was seen as an exception. No one British would sleep with aliens.

And then Sergeant Tayles did.

Then Michelle did.

Mrs Willowes followed shortly after.

Jack, who hadn’t had his leg over in weeks by that point, was beginning to wonder what was wrong with him. Instead, he took out his frustration by making a suggestion…

~*~*~*~*~

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janto_recs

December 2010

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
			1	2	3	4
5	6	7	8	9	10	11
12	13	14	15	16	17	18
19	20	21	22	23	24	25
26	27	28	29	30	31

Tags

!locked [4]
!mod post [31]
- masterlist [4]
!needs tag [1]
category
- aliens made them do it [13]
- angry!ianto [78]
- angry!jack [58]
- bottom!jack [53]
- broken!ianto [29]
- broken!jack [27]
- date!fic [14]
- empath!ianto [21]
- empath!jack [9]
- first time [30]
- gap-filler [63]
- holiday!fic [5]
- hurt!ianto [169]
- hurt!jack [131]
- ianto's family [30]
- ianto-centric [126]
- ianto/gwen friendship [22]
- ianto/martha friendship [3]
- ianto/owen friendship [18]
- ianto/tosh friendship [40]
- im/mail conversations [4]
- immortal!ianto [15]
- jack's family [9]
- jack-centric [61]
- jack/martha friendship [2]
- jack/tosh friendship [5]
- jealous!ianto [14]
- jealous!jack [29]
- kid!fic [43]
- marriage [16]
- metamorphosis [9]
- mission!fic [35]
- mortal!jack [7]
- oblivious!jack [12]
- old!ianto [7]
- phone!sex [4]
- possessive!ianto [10]
- possessive!jack [23]
- post-season 2 [32]
- post-season 3 [14]
- pre-season 2 [76]
- pre-series [22]
- pregnant!ianto [7]
- pregnant!jack [19]
- protective!ianto [56]
- protective!jack [69]
- psychic!ianto [16]
- psychic!jack [11]
- public!sex [11]
- pwp [53]
- radio play
  - lost souls [1]
- retcon [18]
- stopwatch [4]
- strong!ianto [117]
- strong!jack [68]
- team!fic [61]
- teen!ianto [3]
- the year that never was [9]
- time travel [62]
- time-agent!ianto [1]
- time-lord!ianto [8]
- undercover [7]
- vampire!ianto [5]
- vulnerable!ianto [98]
- vulnerable!jack [96]
- wedding [9]
crossover
- chuck [1]
- doctor who [105]
- fake [1]
- harry potter [2]
- law and order
  - ci [1]
- the dresden files [1]
genre
- action/adventure [70]
- alternate universe [157]
- angst [306]
- crack!fic [34]
- crossover [93]
- dark [50]
- drama [179]
- fluff [152]
- general [114]
- horror [22]
- humor/parody [126]
- hurt/comfort [208]
- mpreg [34]
- mystery [47]
- romance [384]
- slight angst [73]
- smut [133]
length
- chaptered [199]
- oneshot [417]
- series [53]
post-a day in the death [6]
post-adam [5]
post-adrift [16]
post-captain jack harkness [5]
post-children of earth [10]
post-coe [2]
post-combat [1]
post-countrycide [32]
post-cyberwoman [36]
post-dead man walking [2]
post-end of days [62]
post-exit wounds [75]
post-fragments [6]
post-from out of the rain [3]
post-greeks bearing gifts [5]
post-kkbb [26]
post-meat [13]
post-out of time [4]
post-reset [3]
post-sleeper [3]
post-small worlds [7]
post-something borrowed [18]
post-they keep killing suzie [7]
post-to the last man [3]
rating
- g [24]
- nc-17 [201]
- pg [108]
- pg-13 [192]
- r [146]
reccer
- aerinbooke [1]
- alchemistpotion [1]
- angst_queen_98 [1]
- astuta [7]
- baka_sensei [5]
- blinkytreefrog [2]
- bookwrm89 [1]
- broken_lullaby [5]
- cadrina [2]
- ceindreadh [1]
- cls_tweedy [3]
- desertpoet [2]
- diablo_dancer [1]
- dmarley [4]
- dua_186 [1]
- enkanowen [1]
- esporamor [6]
- explodeyy [6]
- fairyd123 [1]
- finiz [2]
- firredheadedelf [3]
- forevagreeneart [1]
- frenzied [4]
- frizzyheaded [4]
- guingel [4]
- hanuueshe [41]
- hull1984 [3]
- ihazatardis [3]
- itoshii_chan [253]
- ivegotthemusic [2]
- jaimie2i [6]
- janto_x_naomily [3]
- jantofangirl2 [1]
- jennypedler86 [1]
- joesther [2]
- ladymist [6]
- laura_guerin [1]
- lemmiki [2]
- lexia4 [2]
- magnolian_lily [1]
- metalgabu [1]
- misswinterhill [2]
- mithfeniel [2]
- mrs_cj_harkness [3]
- phantomreviewer [12]
- pinkfairy727 [16]
- radgie [1]
- rheasilvia9 [2]
- severia [1]
- skittlesnfrank [1]
- sublunaerie [2]
- such_heights [1]
- taynna [2]
- the_silver_sun [2]
- thrace_adams [2]
- txrabbit [1]
- verasteine [1]
- visionshadows [5]
- xbeax [191]
- xx__oblivious [1]
- zions [3]
side pairing
- doctor/jack/ianto [3]
- ianto/captain john [4]
- ianto/doctor [8]
- ianto/lisa [61]
- ianto/other [35]
- ianto/owen [4]
- ianto/tosh [3]
- jack/captain john [19]
- jack/doctor [17]
- jack/gwen [24]
- jack/jack [5]
- jack/other [60]
- jack/owen [3]
- master/ianto [3]
- master/jack [5]
status
- complete [491]
- work in progress [112]
warning
- abuse [21]
- bdsm [13]
- character death [121]
- d/s [14]
- drugs [8]
- het [21]
- homophobia [4]
- incest [1]
- necrophilia [2]
- non-con [20]
- prostitution [2]
- self-harm [11]
- slavery [4]
- suicide [10]
- tentacle!sex [2]
- threesome [9]
- torture [38]
- violence [79]
wordcount
- 0-1000 [71]
- 1000-5000 [267]
- 10000-20000 [45]
- 100000-rest [7]
- 20000-30000 [27]
- 30000-50000 [20]
- 5000-10000 [65]
- 50000-60000 [3]
- 60000-100000 [11]

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