REC: REVELATIONS by BAKA_SENSEI

[itoshii-chan.livejournal.com]

Title: Revelations
Author: baka_sensei
Genre: Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Smut
Rating: NC-17
Other/Implied Pairings: Rhys/Gwen, Tom/Martha, Ianto/Martha friendship
Summary: In which Ianto realizes he has a rather unhealthy level of dependence upon a certain Captain Jack Harkness.
Status: Work In Progress
Length: Multi-chapter / 10 TOTAL
Word Count: TBC
Warnings: spoilers for and post-Torchwood 2x13 "Exit Wounds," implied past character deaths
Comment or Excerpt from fic: Well, I do very much like fics where my OTPs are emotionally tortured, so this fic fits the bill! This is an emotionally tortured!Ianto fic that is just so beautifully written. It goes something like... Ianto loves Jack but realizes that Jack doesn't, he and Martha go on a vacation for three weeks where he spills his beans to her, Martha gives sound advise and concocts a plan, they come back with a changed Ianto, but...

*cheeky grin*

~*~*~*~*~



Jack cuts himself off, leaning back, putting distance between them. His walls go back up, the shiny veneer of the Captain falling into place. It’s been like this for a while now, Ianto realizes with startling clarity. Jack allowing himself brief moments of intimacy, closeness, before he pulls away again. Ever since Owen and Tosh…

And why had Ianto jumped in front of that weapon? It’s not like it could have killed Jack... But in that instant, Ianto had been so terrified… so desperate… It was a character flaw he supposed... His reliance on other people, his willingness to devote himself so completely to someone else that they became his whole world. It was the mistake he’d made with Lisa- it had blinded him to her inhumanity... And now it seemed he’d transferred that same kind of blind devotion onto Jack... Jack had become all that he lived for, strived for, the entailment of his existence... Of course, Ianto had known he was in love with the frustrating man already. He’d never said, though. There were some things they just didn’t talk about...

It had been so easy to fall in love with Jack that he’d missed things he really should have been paying more attention to. He knows what Jack means to him, but he’d ignored the signs telling him what he means to Jack.

Maybe Ianto is nothing more than a casual fuck... Jack had been shagging him... without ever indicating something beyond a casual interest... Maybe Ianto is nothing more than a face in a long line of faces; maybe he pales in comparison... But Ianto loves Jack so much that he unthinkingly jumps in... to save a man who can’t die... loves Jack so much that he’s certain there’s a dark part of his soul willing to torture, maim, rip apart anyone who dares to threaten the man who has somehow earned his complete, unquestioning loyalty... And yet more recently, after Tosh and Owen, Jack had resolutely stamped out any progress they’d been making towards something… not so casual... Gone is anything but the almost clinical touch of Jack’s hands to his skin during sex, always as a means to an end... his eyes guarded. Gone are the small admittances, the ambiguous statements of affection that tell Ianto even if Jack isn’t in love with him, Ianto is more than just a convenience.

Jack is keeping their relationship just as uninvolved as it had been at the very beginning of it all. But now Ianto is in too deep... He doesn’t know how he’ll be able to cope if (when) Jack decides to leave them again, when Ianto begins to bore him so much that he isn’t even worth shagging, when Ianto gets too old or too injured or lets his dependence show... When Jack falls in love with someone else, maybe several someones... but he’s never been in love with Ianto and never will be.

Ianto can’t let it continue. He won’t be able to survive it if it does.

~*~*~*~*~

R/C: Chapter links at the bottom; link to "Prologue" can be acquired either by clicking on the title at the top or the link at the bottom points below*. You can also view the next chapter by clicking on the link at the end of the current chapter...

Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | ...